Some lame riddles + jokes~

Dear Urban citizens,
Let's relax for a while and enjoy some lame stuff.... Make sure u use ur brain be4 seeing the answers

1. Why superman's costume is so tight??
Because he is wearing 'S' size... (Blind meh?? already stated in front of his costume wat....)

2. aabb abba abab baba bbaa baab...... Guess a common phrase...
Long time no see... (long time no 'c')

3. stand
---------------------
I
Guess a short phrase....
I Understand..... (got it?)

4. death...>>>>---- LIFE Guess a phrase oso...
Life after death......

5. 0
-------------------
M.D.
Ph.D
Can anybody guess tis??
2 'degrees' below 0..... swt...

6. ecnalg (huh??)
Backward glance...... (Ooooo)

7. THINK!!! (I'm thinking....)
Think Big...... (Ok,....zzzzz)

8. There are 3 types of monkeys competing to climb a coconut tree........ They are chimpanzee, monkey and gorilla..... Can u guess, who will get the banana 1st???..... (Ermmmm...)
Nobody..... Maybe U in ur dreams...... Coconut tree where got banana?!??!! (Think too much adi la....)

Jokes!!!
1. Ah beng was walking along his work area one day and saw his fren Ah mute. Ah mute can't speak so he needs to use sign language to communicate. Ah mute signal why Ah Beng isn't at work. Ah beng than look around and gathered some leaves under the tree and stand on them. He look at Ah Mute and pointed down at the leaves. Ah Mute is now confused....Later Ah Sian pass by and saw Ah Beng standing on the leaves. Ah mute than signal Ah Sian on what is Ah Beng trying to say............................. ( Guess the answer )

Ah sian than type down in his handphone and show it to Ah Mute. " Ah Beng Is On Leave! "

2. Fren :" Where is ur son now??"
Ah Beng:" He's in Medical Hospital."
Fren :" Wow, he's a doctor? He studies medical?"
Ah Beng:" No, they are studying him....."

3. Ah Beng:" Where will u go if i died one day??"
Wife :" Don't worry, I'll move and stay with my sister... What if I die??"
Ah Beng:" Same. I'll move and stay with ur sister....."

4. Gila, Gaduh and Otak are 3 buddies......
One day, Gaduh was missing...... So, Gila and Otak decided to report to the police.... Gila went into the police station while Otak waited outside.......
Police:" Apa yang boleh saya bantu, encik?"
Gila :" Aku nak cari Gaduh."
Police:" Apa? Nak cari gaduh? Apa masalah kau?? Kau gila ke??"
Gila :" Ya, saya Gila..."
Police:"(shocked)...mana otak kau??"
Gila :" Otak tak pergi mana, Otak tunggu di luar..."
Police:"...*/-'%!#@.@~........."

LoL..... ^v^